Oh lovely house. What a gift you were to me. You were most certainly meant to be ours, even just for a little while and you were our home, so loved and cherished. Never to be forgotten. I'm just sorry that I couldn't uplift you and take you with us, but you belong right where you are, perfectly at home on our lake, all windows facing to meet her for fun and adventure but walls within that tell stories of families, love and happiness.
This house is a real life character in my story. Before we even arrived in Halifax we were busy searching for our home there. 27 Lake Drive came up in my search and I poured over the pictures day after day. Was such a house real? In that beautiful east coast style, this house had character like no other. Secret back stairs, a huge fireplace in the equally 'perfect for boat construction' basement, a landing at the top of the stairs with the most perfect reading picture window, gables, an established garden and right across the road from the perfect, most picturesque lake. We were sold. And even though we arrived at midnight in Halifax, at 10 am the next morning, bone weary and exhausted, we were viewing this house. There was never really a question in my mind and even though common sense suggested we see others, my heart was already taken. She chose us and we chose her.
We bought the Lake Drive house from the Shaw family, who had built and lived in it for the past 25 years. Susan and Bill had raised their three children there and we were lucky enough to get to know them a little before we moved in. They were lovely and kind and it felt a little wrong to be taking this family home away from it's rightful owners. Susan kindly reminded me we were paying quite a bit for the privilege, but even so I felt myself as caretaker over something bigger than me and adding our family mark to this beautiful home's legacy. Over the years I loved discovering little marks from the past, teenage love graffiti in the closest, or a family photo, slipped between shelves. We heard the best stories from neighbours about Bill and his ideas and adventures. Just living in that house you knew it was a place that a family grew in love and those memories were stored there.
We added lots of our own memories. Our Australia day parties, our incredible Christmas's with giant trees gracing the picture window, friends and family staying and swimming and bbqing, Josh and Levi building paddle boards in the basement, birthdays and announcements, pancakes and lazy saturdays, Netflix and Ben and Jerry's, all those swims in the lake, family, friends and fun. Finley grew up there from 3 to 6, Prim from 6 months to 3 and it's the home we bought our new baby boy Quill home to. We were so happy there, it was the place that bought me comfort through winter, contentment through the long hours Levi was at work or serving and the most fun and happiness of my life over summer.
Despite all that I knew from the start that it wouldn't be mine forever. Canada was this magical experience, my Oz and so much of me wishes I could be in two places at once, but I can't and when home called I knew it was time to say goodbye. I had to chant to myself over and over 'happiness is not a house, happiness is not a house' but it has been a huge loss to me and I have struggled with the grief of losing my life and a home that I loved so dearly. But how blessed was I, to live this life and have this experience at all? Adding to my story, loving and feeling so deeply. I'm changed by it and oh so grateful for it.
The kids and I climbed into one of the gable closets on our last night there and wrote a little secret message on the wall 'Jade, Levi, Finley, Primrose and Quill loved this house! We will remember you forever'. I hope some day a little person discovers that message and just like me feels the love and memories the walls hold.
Goodbye dear house, my House of Dreams.
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