I love birth, I think it's powerful and even magical that my body has been capable of it and brought four lives into the world. But I also think it's not all that magical when the contractions first hit and you know that it's game time. Experience has helped me recognise that's it's not all that long, it can be managed and it will end, with a baby in your arms. So this time around, my last time giving birth, I wanted to just ride the wave of the experience and get to that incredible last moment when my little baby comes into the world. Levi had a beautiful experience during my pregnancy where he had the impression that the baby would be a girl. My heart longed for another girl, especially for Primrose to have a sister but I couldn't be sure until they were in my arms. Surprises are the best and knowing I would find out who my little person was soon was such an exciting feeling that made the journey of labour all the more worthwhile.
I was probably a little naive to think that this birth would be just like Quill's, if not a little easier - ha! I went into contractions at 3.30 am and not unlike Quill there were sporadic, but they just felt like they were going nowhere and nowhere they did. I had these prelabour pains through the whole day, contractions bouncing between 3, 15, 10, 3, 40 minutes so I couldn't rest much but I did get ready through them, packing my bag, having a shower, calling mum and dad to come. By 9 pm that night I was completely exhausted and called my friend Sig who is a midwife for some direction and encouragement. She told me I needed to get up and moving, start walking, rocking my hips and get the show on the road. Dutifully I followed her instructions and bam! but 10 pm I was groaning and it was on. From 10 - 1 am Levi and I managed it together at home. By this point though I was completely exhausted and I just needed to get into the hospital and have this baby. In my delirium the night took on it's own crazy kind of vibe. It's was cold and dark and I almost felt like I was asleep watching my experience. When we got to the hospital an orderly came with a wheel chair and suddenly it felt like I was in a movie. He was like 'are you having contractions?', I nodded, 'don't you worry', he said 'I'll get you there', then off we zoomed into the hospital. In my mind we were racing, taking one wheel on corners, barreling our way though the corridors. It made me laugh out loud. Levi told me later we were going a brisk but regular pace and there was nothing dramatic about it at all. Ha!
When I got to the room the midwives were really calm and the room was dim and warm. They were wonderful and could see I just needed to get in the zone. They left me to it for awhile but I was started to struggle and they encouraged me to get up on my knees on the bed and get the baby coming. At this point I was falling asleep for a minute between contractions, slumped over on the bed but I felt the pressure and urgency to push. I always feel a bit scared at this point and have to build up my courage I turned around and had this intense contraction and just went for it, which sent my waters flying literally 2 meters across the room just as my midwife was passing and hit her right in the leg! Everyone burst out laughing, it was so crazy and funny and intense. And honestly I could have pushed the baby out in the next push but no one was there at the end of the bed! So I bided my time until the midwife was there, gathered my strength for the next big push and Levi was right there telling me 'this is it, you're at the end, the baby it coming'. I let out a giant scream then and just put my all into it and it's that crazy moment at the end that makes me love natural birth so much. The feel of the baby right there, the pushing through and sliding from me is miraculous, it's just the most powerful experience for me and I'd done it. I reached for my unknown little person but she was a tangle of cord, three times around her but they unwound her and I saw that she was a she! Nothing beats that surprise, that moment of dreams come true, materialised before you as your own little person. Another little girl, the final piece to our family, here and with us. They handed her to me and it was such raw emotion then. So many feelings. I burst into tears, my beautiful girl, just a tiny little thing here with us after so much, the emotions were so overwhelming to have her in my arms and know that she was here.
You are all that we dreamed of and I am so glad that we made the decision to bring another life into our home and our hearts.
We were waiting for you Lily Josephine Catton
Born 5th June 2020 at 4:41 am
At Queanbeyan Hospital
Our littlest weighing 6'12''
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