2019 began with us in a very empty and very hot rental property, albeit very beautiful, with a few pieces of rental furniture and a possum slowly decomposing in the roof. It felt similar to when I got back from my mission and my brother returned my car to me with a key snapped off in the drivers door lock and a giant booger smeared across the inside of the windscreen. It felt crap. I wished I could tap my ruby slippers and get back to my real life, my beautiful life in Canada. Completely in character I had forgotten all of the reasons we came home and the Canada experience lived rose tinted and glorious in my mind. Thus began a funk, like no other I have experienced before, of loss and doubt but with eventual peace and clarity. If I learn't anything from the experience it is that good friends who will listen to you repeat the same thing over and over are vital, that getting up every day and putting one foot in front of the other is a must and that we don't always get to chose how we feel but we do get to chose what we do about it, even if it takes us awhile to get there. I have much greater empathy for people who struggle and I understand very clearly the pull of the dark, warm, black hole where you can just be with your sorrow. I'm glad I'm on the other side now.
Looking back I feel very grateful for some decisions we made. Moving to Bungendore has been a pathway to fulfilling some long held goals and I've also had the reality of some of my dreams put into greater context, I've had an excellent education. It was no accident that 14 years ago I drove through this town and had the passing thought 'I wouldn't mind living here one day' and that the only rental property available was at the end of Mecca Lane, surrounded by amazing neighbours and facing onto a property that ran horses. Because of that location we met Alice, who's children, Lachie and Adelaide began teaching me and the kids to ride. I've longed to learn for years, ever since binge watching Mcloud's Daughters and here I was provided with a very easy and cost effective way to fulfill that dream. The kids and I made great progress this year, I've even done a few jumps! and maybe one day will have a horse or two of our own. We also met Keith and Rhonda Jane who really connected us to the community and looked out for us with a steady supply of eggs and a listening ear. And behind us we had the Kerr family, who gave the kids the fun free range experience of jumping the fence and playing the afternoon away. The house we lived in is very beautiful and known in the community for how pretty it is. It has a windmill out the front and a real well, but the outlook was it's greatest feature. Some days you could sit and watch the horses gallop and play together and most nights we watched incredible pink and yellow sunsets reflected across The Great Diving Range. The yard was often full of rainbow lorikeets and the neigbourhood dogs and cats regularly came to visit. Quill got the most out of that yard. He could spend an hour just exploring, playing with rocks and sticks, sampling flowers and grass. He will be an outdoors-man for sure.
That house, was a blessing and provided a wonderful introduction to country life. I learnt from watching Alice that I'm not ready to take on a property, the work and money is huge and beyond me at this point in my life. So much of me wanted that life and I'm glad I realised without committing that it's not the right time. Instead work has begun on our own home on a smaller residential block, on a cul-de-sac and with a lovely outlook at the end of the street. It will be completed around June next year and should be lovely and fairly low maintenance. We love living in Bungendore. The community is so lovely and with only 3500 people you get to know the names and faces of lots of people who live here. The school is just beautiful, Finley has been so happy there and has really worked steadily. He is a great student and an incredible reader. I spent the year commuting Primrose to preschool in the neighbouring town of Tarago - a two hour there and back, there and back trip. I'm glad to be at the end of it as she will attend preschool here next year but she really loved every minute, she is reading basic words, can write her name beautifully and is the sweetest friend. I was glad to do it for her. As a result Quill is a wonderful car traveller and is a patient, loving and adventurous little guy. It's been a busy, fun year for the kids, they have settled well into our new situation. Finley and Primrose played in the community soccer program and swam in the local swim club. There's been scooting and running, playing basketball, dance and gymnastics lessons, Joey's for Finley and lots of fort building in our lounge room. They are growing and happy, each with their own gorgeous little personalities. They love to talk about their life in Canada too. More on their yearly recaps here Finley , Primrose , Quill .
The house we were renting on Mecca Lane sold so we moved in November to a new rental (with a pool!) where we will be until we move into our own home in June. It was an absolute pain to have to move but all things considered and with great help from my parents it went fairly smoothly. We are trying to avoid thinking about moving again in the near future. Even with the move, I'm so glad we were on Mecca Lane and wouldn't change a thing. It's exciting to have a pool over the summer and already the kids are making great strides with their swimming. Plus we have a park over the road and a great bike path out the front so we are happy and grateful to have somewhere comfortable to live.
We had two big exciting things happen this year. The first is that our fourth baby is well on it's way and will make it's arrival in June 2020. Telling the kids at Christmas was incredible and I am feeling really well so far, so we anxiously await the arrival of our little person who is much loved already. The next is that Levi will be the Managing Director for Gibbs and Cox Australia starting January 2020. Wow! I'm so proud of him. Not only for his incredible capabilities but that he has worked so diligently to get to this point and is recognised for all that he has to offer. Two massive things really, that will likely test us as a family, but that we feel great comfort and peace are right for us too. Basically our strategy for getting through is, chill out, give each other grace and be kind. Let's see how we go.
2019 was the year my beloved Grandma,Valerie Quill Clarke passed away, after 10 years of dementia. Our whole family came together, as well as much of our extended family and it was an emotional time as we reflected on all that she is to us and took comfort in knowing that life does go on beyond the veil and we will see her again.
This year our adventuring has come down a notch with the exception of a quick business trip to Scotland for Levi that I got to tag along on which was wonderful, you can read more here. Mostly though we have settled into life and taken a breath. We did take a road trip to Geelong earlier in the year to see Edward and I took the kids to Nelson Bay for a visit during the holidays but otherwise we have stayed close to home. We have ventured into Canberra for some friday nights eating out, a train miniatures exhibition and recently a museum visit plus we love the close town of Braidwood for it's beautiful food and vibe. Plus we have had some great visitors, mum, dad and Courtney regularly, an awesome visit from Tate and Hanna, our great friends Pete, Sally and their kids plus a long awaited meet up with the Paki family. Next year will likely remain at a similar pace with all that is happening for us, but we don't mind one bit.
It's been a strange year really, a year of adjustment. I think I know myself better than I ever have before and I feel stronger in myself now than at the start. As parents we are still striving but I can feel little gains and I'm glad to be in this family we have created of love and chaos and fun. I can honestly say I love Levi more with each passing year and am excited for all that the future holds for us.
Farewell 2019.
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